Which restraints work with welded rings?

A restraint bed is only half of a restraint set-up. Between a wrist or an ankle and the ring on the frame sits everything else: a cuff, a strap, a connector. Those pieces are what the restrained partner actually feels, and what the partner leading has to open quickly when a scene ends. They deserve as much thought as the bed.

On a frame with welded D-rings, you attach bed restraints to the rings, using a connector. For where the rings sit on a particular bed, ask us.

Three parts to every restraint

Any restraint on a bed with closed rings has three parts, and it helps to think about each one separately.

1. The part that goes on the body: a cuff or strap.
2. The connector that joins it to the frame: usually a clip that passes through the ring.
3. The ring itself, which is part of the frame.

On our frames the third part is settled: a D-ring welded to the S235 steel of the frame and coated with it. The choices you make are about the first two.

Cuffs

Cuffs are the simplest way to start with restraint. They need no tying, and their fit is easy to see.

What to look for

• A soft lining, such as felt, fleece or smooth leather, with no rough edges against the skin.
• A generous width, with no narrow or hard edges.
• A fastening you can open quickly. Buckles are secure and adjustable. Hook-and-loop fastenings are quick to open and close, though they can wear over time.
• A sturdy ring or loop on the cuff itself, for the connector to clip to.
• Stitching and fittings that look well made, with nothing loose or fraying.

Fit

Fit each cuff as its maker describes, and agree before any scene how you'll check the fit, and check it again during the scene in whatever way you agreed. If anything feels wrong to the person wearing it, the cuff comes off.

Straps

Straps are useful where a cuff isn't the right shape, or where you want a little more length between the body and the frame. Choose straps made for the purpose, with a smooth finish and a buckle you can open easily. Avoid improvising with belts, ties or anything that could tighten on its own, and avoid anything thin enough to dig in.

Connectors

The connector is the part that joins a restraint to the ring, and it's the part the partner leading will open when a scene ends. Choose it with that moment in mind.

• Pick clips you can open quickly with one hand, even from an awkward angle.
• Choose sturdy metal clips made for the purpose, and check that they close fully.
• Avoid anything that needs a padlock, a combination or a tool to open.
• Avoid connectors so long that a restraint can wrap around itself or the frame.

Rope can be used with welded rings too, but it's a hands-on skill learned in person from reputable educators. Our guide to rope and a steel frame covers materials and where to learn, and doesn't describe tying.

Wrists and ankles

Cuffs for wrists and ankles are sold separately by some makers, and the two can be made differently, so check which you're buying. Buy each from a reputable supplier, in the size the maker recommends, and try them on before any scene so you both know how they fit and open.

A considered first set

If you're starting from nothing, a small set chosen well is enough. A sensible first set might be:

• A pair of lined wrist cuffs with buckles or a fastening you can open quickly.
• A pair of lined ankle cuffs to match.
• A sturdy clip for each restraint you've agreed to use, one you can open with one hand.
• A pair of blunt-tipped safety shears.
• A lidded box to keep them in.

Add to it slowly, and only with things you've both agreed you want to try. For how the set matches the rings on a particular frame, ask us.

Choosing restraints together

The person wearing a restraint is the best judge of how it feels, so choose them together. Talk about materials, how snug a fit feels comfortable, and anything either of you would rather avoid. If one of you is unsure about a particular restraint, leave it out. Nothing about a restraint bed requires any particular piece to be used.

Practise before any scene

The time to learn how your restraints open is before anyone is wearing them. Sit together with the bed made up and the restraints in your hands, and practise.

• Attach each connector to a ring and open it again, several times, until it's automatic.
• Try it with one hand, and try it from the side of the bed where you'll be standing.
• Do the same with every buckle and fastening on every cuff and strap.
• Agree which order restraints come off in when a scene ends. If either of you gives the safeword or the non-verbal signal, the scene ends immediately, and the signal is never discussed or overridden in the moment.

Practising together also gives the restrained partner a clear sense of how each restraint feels and opens before a scene begins, which makes it easier for them to agree with confidence.

Shears within reach

Keep a pair of blunt-tipped safety shears within reach of the partner leading, somewhere they can find without looking: on a bedside table, or in a drawer agreed beforehand. Shears are there for the moment a clip or a buckle won't open as quickly as you need it to. Check where they are before every scene.

The agreements around restraint

Restraint asks a lot of trust, and the agreements come before any of the hardware. Consent is a yes that's freely given, informed, specific, ongoing and withdrawable at any moment. Agree it sober, and keep every scene sober.

Agree a safeword and a non-verbal signal, chosen so the restrained partner can give it easily. Either one ends the scene immediately and is never discussed or overridden in the moment. Agree how you'll check in during the scene, and never leave a restrained person alone, even briefly. Our guide to what to agree before using restraint furniture goes through the full conversation.

When the scene ends

When a scene ends, the restraints come off first, in the order you agreed. Once everything is off, move straight to the aftercare you planned together, whether that's warmth, water, closeness or quiet.

Later, when you've both rested, talk about how the restraints felt: what worked, what was uncomfortable, and anything either of you would change. That conversation is a good place to improve your set-up, and it feeds straight into the next negotiation.

Checking and storing restraints

Check your restraints before each use, along with the frame. Look at stitching, linings, buckles and clips, and retire anything worn, frayed or stiff. Check the rings on the frame and the finish around them, and if anything on the bed has moved, loosened or chipped through to the steel, stop using it and contact us before it's used again.

Store restraints clean and dry, in a lidded box or a drawer close to the bed. Take everything off the frame when a scene ends: metal buckles and clips left hanging on a ring can mark the finish over time, and an empty frame keeps the bed looking like a bed between uses. Clean leather and fabric according to the maker's instructions, and wipe the frame with warm water and mild soap. Our guide to cleaning and caring for steel restraint furniture covers the frame in full.

Where to go next

If you're still comparing frames, our guide to the difference between a hook and a welded D-ring explains why we use closed rings, and how to choose a restraint bed frame walks through the rest of the decision. Every frame on our BDSM beds page is made to order, with a current lead time of 8–14 weeks, and what is a BDSM bed? covers the whole subject.